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Developing Maturity Post 9: Boundaries and Remaining Calm

This series on Developing Maturity focuses on finding ways to develop and grow. Maturity is not just a way to set yourself apart in your career; being mature enhances virtually every aspect of your life. This series is inspired by eqi.org

For the introduction to this series, click here.

Boundaries and Remaining Calm: Avoiding the extraneous negative people in your life will help you since you won’t be as emotionally “worn out” by immature people, but it isn’t the only way of preserving your sanity and emotional stability.

The key is to establish boundaries and hold to them. When you can stand your ground, you will prevent yourself from being violated. When people feel violated, it usually causes them to “fly off the handle” as referenced before by validating others. (Anger is a means to “protect” yourself by verbally pushing other people away.)

People who don’t establish and enforce boundaries don’t stand their ground. They tend to get upset and keep it “bottled up” since they haven’t found a way to keep themselves from getting hurt; this is coupled by the fact that they haven’t figured out an appropriate way to release the pressure that builds up. They explode in anger and hurt feelings. They take it out on other people and usually say or do something they’ll regret later. People tend to remember outbursts, so those who explode have a great way to lose friends and get people talking about them.

Emotional Intelligence is realizing what “gets your goat” and causes undue stress. Emotional Maturity is establishing boundaries, and sticking to it; standing your ground, and “maintaining” your cool instead of letting yourself get upset. Undue stress doesn’t just cause problems in your life, it can eventually damage your health. Learning to handle things now can help you avoid stress-related health problems in the future.

It isn’t just anger that gets bottled up. Handling too much without asking for help causes undue stress as well. You do need to expose yourself to challenges because growth comes from situations in which you must rise to a challenge. Many people feel it’s a sign of weakness to ask for help and this keeps them from getting the help they need. This also places them in undue stress. Help can come in many forms. You don’t have to ask someone to do it all for you; you can ask someone for advice on coping with the demands that are placed on you. You’re not the only person in the world who has been faced with a challenge. Other people can give advice that can shed light on handling problems. Since they’re outside of the situation, they can give a helpful, more objective perspective. If you’ve been tasked with more than you should handle, they can let you know. People like to help others—all you need to do is ask!

Career Prep Academy’s program helps High School and College students develop the key skills employers want. With our help, your student will be prepared for the real world and a rewarding career. Call Career Prep Academy at 317-641-4677 to schedule a consultation. Remote sessions by webinar are available.