This series on Developing Maturity focuses on finding ways to develop and grow. Maturity is not just a way to set yourself apart in your career; being mature enhances virtually every aspect of your life. This series is inspired by eqi.org
For the introduction to this series, click here.
Taking Responsibility for your Feelings: Part of Emotional Intelligence is understanding and identifying your emotions—it’s also the realization that you have the power to choose HOW you feel. You also need to distinguish the difference between thoughts and feelings.
No one can MAKE you have a particular feeling. Although a person may take action with the intent of provoking an emotion, it is still up to you to have the response. A person may also be too self-centered to intend to provoke a certain emotion in you; they may be truly careless or uncaring. Once you can take responsibility for your feelings, you have developed this component of Emotional Intelligence and are ready for a discussion using your Emotional Maturity.
- Step 1 Example: If you’re angry use “I feel angry” instead of “You are making me so mad right now!”
- Step 2 Example: If you’re angry about something done or said by someone, try to see the other person’s actions from their perspective.
- Do you think any harm was intended? Was the other person being self-absorbed and thoughtless/uncaring?
- If they intended to hurt you, or if they care so much more for themselves, consider what impact your words will have. It would be difficult to expect that your input would have much bearing on their future behavior, but you do have the right to stand up for yourself and make a point. If they fail to listen, you may only become more angry at trying to make yourself heard. If you’ve really developed Emotional Maturity, you will recognize when it is appropriate to “let it go.”
- Do you think any harm was intended? Was the other person being self-absorbed and thoughtless/uncaring?
- Were their actions unavoidable—a reaction to a circumstance?
- Approach the situation to let them know you understand they had a difficult decision to make, but you can share your feelings about it.
- Step 2 Example: If you’re angry about something done or said by someone, try to see the other person’s actions from their perspective.
Career Prep Academy’s program helps High School and College students develop the key skills employers want. With our help, your student will be prepared for the real world and a rewarding career. Call Career Prep Academy at 317-641-4677 to schedule a consultation. Remote sessions by webinar are available.
Click here for the third post in the series: Walk a Mile in Their Shoes.